When you start putting the pieces together and it takes so long and you’ve crumpled the instructions up so many times that you can’t even decipher the words. When you keep going, putting pieces where you think they should go, inserting parts from other projects and using chewed gum to hold them in place because glue costs $3.00 and you only have $10 for the week. When you wake up in the morning and swear you’ve given it all you could and yet somehow find yourself back at it an hour later. When you know it takes blood, sweat and tears but all you have left is an exacerbated sigh. When you ask your friends to tread lightly because the whole thing might fall, but they forget and it shakes under their careless feet. When you finally look up and see your reflection but you hardly recognize yourself….
When you finish, will it matter that everyone you thought would stick around has long since gone and the only one to say “well done” is you? Is your voice going to be encouraging and soulful enough at the end of it to make you believe it was worth it? Will you be satisfied with yourself even when no one else cares?
I surely hope so because the crowd is dwindling and your candles have all burnt low. Time to quiet your screaming voice and save your energy in case you ever build that fucking thing. Everyone else has left the building and the only conviction you have is yours alone.